You value the relationship, but not so much that you abandon your goal, like in accommodation. You can also use it when standing up for yourself and in instances where you feel unsafe. In those cases, asserting yourself and reaching safety is more critical than your relationships with others. Alternatively, you can think of these axis labels as the “importance of my goal” and the “importance of this relationship.” If your assertiveness is high, you aim to achieve your own goal.
Approach-avoidance conflict vs. fear of negative evaluation theories
So they think the only way to get them met is by sort of leaking them out. And so you really need to think about the other person. And that’s an important point is that it’s understandable when we enter a conflict, we have a natural stress response to when our needs or wants are threatened that we become naturally narcissistic. We focus on ourselves, who we are, what we want, how we feel slighted, when really the most effective thing is to focus on the other person.
How Conflict Avoidance Can Impact a Relationship
This blog post will explore what conflict avoidance is, why you do it, and the consequences of doing so. We will also offer tips for addressing conflict healthily. On the other hand, competition is often inappropriately used. Violence is a growing concern in hospitals across the country. When someone seeks to harm another, whether physically, socially or politically, to advance themselves within an organization, destructive outcomes often result. As with avoidance and accommodation, the challenge is not to decide whether competition is good or bad, but rather to wisely choose when to use it.
How People with Different Conflict Styles Can Work Together
- The person who uses this style may not desire harm to come to others but is willing to sacrifice almost anything to achieve personal objectives.
- Perhaps you could suggest marking off a day each week where the two of you engage in quality time together.
The TLG team has been chosen by scores of major organizations that must become more effective in negotiating sales, business transactions, client relationships and disputes. This win-or-lose style of conflict management is characterized by a super high concern for the achievement of personal goals, even at the risk of damaging or destroying relationships. When it comes to conflict, it may feel like you don’t have a choice. There is the boss who believes, “It’s my way or the highway,” for example.
Fear of Disappointing Others
You might also try to change the topic or make peace without addressing the issue. Another manifestation of conflict avoidance is when you act passive-aggressive or resort to name-calling or insults. The need to avoid a conflict with a partner who is unable to consider an opposing point of view may be a smart option.
Why it’s not helpful
When a group of people work together, it’s inevitable that, sooner or later, there’s going to be disagreement over how things get done. But conflicts among team members must not always lead to low morale, plunging productivity, or bitter feelings. People who respond to conflict this way often expect negative how to deal with someone who avoids conflict outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction. Aside from our work life, avoiding conflict can manifest in our romantic relationships, friendships, and even family dynamics. As we reach the end of this exploration, remember that your tendency to avoid confrontation doesn’t define you.
Confronting Your Fear of Conflict
When we avoid external conflict, have we created an internal battle? After all, we have suppressed our emotions, possibly anger, some frustration, our thoughts, and maybe even our beliefs. Our external conflict has been resolved but, unfortunately, only to be replaced by our own internal conflict. Before reaching out to the person who needs confronting, make sure you are not the one in the wrong.